Pet Peeves
by Supermonkey2247
Summary: It won't come as a surprise that Damian Wayne has many pet peeves. Here you will find a list of them and examples that go with each one. This is a collection of oneshots. Chapters two and above are beta read by WhenUniversesCollide. It gets better after the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

I have a new story, but you probably knew this by now. I'm not sure what else to say so onto the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own DC, obviously

* * *

 **Damian P.O.V.**

Unsurprisingly, there are many things that annoy me. Here I will present you with a list of them. With the exception of Grayson, it doesn't matter who does the deed. It will still annoy me.

Pet peeve number 1: when someone explains something perfectly clear, then explains the exact same thing again immediately after they just explained the concept. And to make it worse, the second explanation is more confusing than the first one. I just can't understand what is going through someone's mind when they do something like that.

 **Example #1**

The first example is at school. Shocking, I know, but alas it is true. This time it was my teacher that did the deed. No, not that deed, but Grayson won't tell me what that means so I'm just going to use the phrase whenever I want so that I can mess with him. I also don't understand why Grayson insists that I respect the teacher. I mean, this entire example is about how incompetent the teacher is. I'll set the scene. We were in math class, and today the concept that the teacher was trying to explain was multiplication.

"Today we are going to talk about multiplication. Multiplication is how many times you have to add a number to itself. In other words, if you multiply five by a number, and the number is how many hands you have in total, then you will be able to see how many fingers you have in total. So for instance, five times three is fifteen."

Of course, I had to reply by saying, "That is ridiculous. No one has three hands." Of course, I knew that wasn't what the teacher meant, but it felt like a Grayson thing to say. Now if you would excuse me, Grayson is calling for me. Something to do with getting a call from that dreaded school.

 **Example #2**

This example is also at school. But this time it wasn't the teacher, but rather one of those know-nothing-snobs of a student, that did the deed. I actually kind of hope that Grayson finds this just so that he can freak out. I also don't know why Grayson also insists that I respect the other students. They are all buffoons except for Collin, but that is a story for another day. But anyways, this student was talking about some gossip or another. I don't really know, nor do I care. The point is that she was uselessly trying to explain to me the reasons for some breakup that I don't care about. Why do people think that I would waste my time caring about other people's social situation? So, she was telling me the reason for the breakup. Not her breakup but someone else's breakup. Why does she care about the break up anyway? But I degrees. Apparently, the couple stopped being a couple because the relationship was abusive. You see? This is the proper way to explain the situation. If only I had the pleasure of such a simple explanation; but alas, I had to sit this random girl that I don't know explain to me multiple times why a couple, that I don't know nor care about, broke up.

"So, Sara and John broke up."

"I don't care."

"There was, like, so much drama that you wouldn't believe it."

Did you not hear me just tell you that I don't care?" Apparently not.

"Their relationship was like a yak hitting on a sheep."

I gave her a look of pure bafflement.

She replied, "What? That is what, like, all of the sayings are like in HTTYD."

She even said it as if made total sense for her to talk that way. I don't think that I really have to tell you who said what.

 **Example #3**

So far, all of the examples have been at that awful place that we like to call: school. This example; however, takes place in a conference room in Wayne Tower. I was in one of the board meetings because it was during a school break and Grayson was busy, so Father had to bring me to said board meeting. I could have spent the day with Drake, but you know. I don't think that having the two of us in a room alone together would that great of an idea. There are just so many things that could go wrong. I'm getting sidetracked. So, at the meeting there was this guy from Wayne Electric, which is a subsidiary of Wayne Industries, trying to get the board of Wayne Enterprises to reinvest in coal power plants. Do you even know how terrible coal is for the environment? Not to mention the fact that that much CO2 can kill people because of suffocation. There is a reason why we stopped building those power plants. The person, let's call him Fred because I didn't care enough to remember his name, was trying to tell the board why the downsides and risks of coal are irrelevant. I just want to make sure that we are clear, unnecessary death is never irrelevant. Grayson did not have to tell me that. Fred's unfound argument for coal went something like this.

"Who cares if it will hurt the environment? Coal can produce so much electricity for humans."

"The emissions from the coal can kill those humans."

"The coal will provide electricity for many people while only killing a few of those people."

"It is still useless killing, and that is inexcusable."

"We should be working for the benefit of the majority, not the minority."

"What?"

I think that Father should have fired that man right then and there, but Father said that he had to stick to a process. Father said that Wayne Enterprises has a three strikes rule. I don't understand why I have to find that much dirt on Fred before he can get fired after he said something like that. Now if you would excuse me, I have to go look into Fred's past. Hopefully, I will find enough against him.


	2. Chapter 2

**I have a new chapter of Pet Peeves! This story's popularity actually made me rearrange my plans for uploading. This update was beta read by WhenUniversesCollide so check out that person's stories. Example #1 happened to me and is the entire reason that this update exists by the way. For all those waiting for the update, wait no longer for the A/N ends now.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own DC**

* * *

 **Damian P.O.V.**

After the exciting examples and tales of my first pet peeve, we are already onto the second bullet point on the list.

You might be asking yourself, "What could possibly bother Damian so much that he would feel the need to mention it?" Well, you would know by now if you would be quite and listen.

The second pet peeve of mine that I am going to talk about is: when people sing and they obviously can't. Have you ever experience this situation? Because let me tell you, it is a situation that you should try to avoid. Little can compare to the cringeworthy-ness that is the failure at singing.

It is seriously one of the worst situations to find yourself in. To be fair; though, I can't tell if my high level of annoyance has to do with how terrible it is or if it's just because it is the pet peeve that I have to deal with most often. I find it interesting if I detach myself from the situation that a lot of people think that they can sing. Like, there is a surprising amount of people. I understand that a person's voice sounds different to them than it does to everyone else. I understand why and how that is, but still, this is just annoying. I have ranted for long enough, so onto the first example.

* * *

 **Example #1**

I was at an amusement park the other day. For the record, I didn't go of my own free will for Grayson dragged me along with him. He said that he wanted some "brotherly bonding" with me, and I would only admit to him that I was actually enjoying myself.

Before I continue, I should probably tell you the circumstantial context to the situation. At the park that Grayson and I went to, there is a speaker system that played ads and, more importantly for the sake of the story, music. Not just any music, but music with _words_. Grayson and I were boarding a ride when some song I can't even remember the name to starts playing.

The name of the song is not important, but what is important is the fact that the people behind us started singing the song quite loudly. The person singing was so terrible that even Richard "Let's Be Nice to Everyone" Grayson cringed. Just put yourself in my position. You are sitting in a plastic seat, waiting for the boarding procedure to finish, while listening to some nineteen-year-old male sing a pop song in an irritatingly squeaky and high pitched voice.

Needless to say, it was not an enjoyable minute. I honestly think that the only reason I didn't pull out one of my knives was because Grayson was sitting next to me. Finally, the ride started, ending the awful singing.

* * *

 **Example #2**

Ah, example number two. This one takes place at the supermarket. Why was I, of all people, at the supermarket? Well, Pennyworth was taking a break from butler-ing to visit his family in England, so Grayson sent Father and me to the supermarket to purchase food.

At this particular store, there was a radio that was playing some random station. Have you ever experienced this? You're standing in a refrigerator isle and there is some pop or rock song playing in the background. It doesn't make any sense to me. There was this old lady in the aisle with us.

Imagine the stereotypical old lady with a pair reading glasses and a pearl chain attached to it. A song started playing that was written by some person named Elvis, and the old lady broke into song. Father and I just stood there and stared. We were frozen with awe. Then she started dancing. Or _trying_ to.

I have been through many strange situations, but this one must have been the strangest. After a couple of minutes of watching an old lady do what can only be described as waggling, the song came to an end. After we left the aisle, Father turned to me and said, "Are we thinking the same thing?"

"Yes, Father, I think we are."

* * *

 **Example #3**

We can't talk about horrible singing and not mention elevators.

Apparently, there are over hundred words for elevator/lift. The name for a lift that I will never understand is booster. Boosters are what you strap onto rockets to help them fly into space. When was the last time you were in an elevator that was powered by a mixture of kerosene and LOX? The answer is never. I'm getting off topic again, aren't I?

Apparently, elevator music now days have words. Why can't they just play classical music in elevators like they used to? Anyway, I was in the elevator when _Fight Song_ started playing. Just imagine my pain as the other person started singing the song in what I like to call the "I believe I can fly voice."

I don't enjoy listening to someone screeching a song, and this time I didn't have Grayson to placate me. I pulled a knife on him and said, "Stop the awful singing. It's not like you are any good at it." Lucky for me, I was getting off the next floor.

* * *

 **Example #4**

Oh look, we have a fourth example. Lucky me.

This takes place at that awful school. I will never understand pre-teen girls and their taste of music. I was eating lunch at the cafeteria which serves food that can only be described as deplorable.

As we were all gathered together for the consumption of the midday meal, this random girl, who had earbuds in her ears, started singing along with the music that she was listening to. Out of all of the examples, the girl has the best singing voice, but I still feel the need to complain out of principle. I'm not saying that she could qualify for a singing show- ever. I just want to know why she felt so compelled to sing. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some music to listen to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the next instalment of _Pet Peeves_. If you have any pet peeves that you would like to see a chapter made out of, let me know in a review. Thanks to WhenUniversesCollide for beta reading the chapter and for coming up with the idea.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own DC**

* * *

 _Damian P.O.V._

The next pet peeve is foot related. Yes, you heard me correctly. Believe it or not, there is plenty of annoyance to go around when it comes to feet. They can cause problems when not used properly.

You would not believe how clumsy people can be when they walk. Well, maybe you _can_ believe it because you have the same problem that I do. I wonder how many people have this problem. I guess it is like most pet peeves, in that the probability of the situation happening to you has to do more with the people that are around you, rather than you yourself. You could have annoying friends that do this on purpose just to annoy you.

I, however, don't have many friends, never mind any that would do this to me, so we will be mostly talking about crowds. I grumble at crowds. Not only crowded crowds, but also crowds like at parks. Why would I of all people know about crowds with feet at parks? Well, I'll answer that question in the first example.

* * *

 **Example #1**

Like I earlier said, this example takes place at the park.

Grayson was able to convince Father to to bring him, Drake, and I to the park. We weren't just _at_ the park, though. No, no, noooo. We were having a _picnic_ at the park. I guess Grayson doesn't care about tabloid headlines that are sure to catch up with us, being celebrities. That is going to cause us some problems someday.

Regardless, we are having our picnic at the park, and it is honestly going better than I expected it to. Drake and I are yet to have any main confrontations. It turns out that Grayson doesn't want to take any chances. So when we are done eating, he turns to me and says, "Dami, let's go to the duck pond to watch the birds!" with a huge smile, his blue eyes glittering in the rare Gotham sunshine.

Now would be a proper time to tell you that in Gotham Park, there is a duck pond to feed the ducks, so I shall. In Gotham Park there is a duck pond to feed the ducks. If you can't tell, I am smirking right now, but I am getting off track, so back to my example.

Because Drake and Father are there, I grumble in protest but let him guide me to the pond. Once we are out of earshot of them, Grayson whispers into my ear, "They can't hear us anymore. You can stop grumbling now."

Now that I think about it, it is kind of alarming how much Grayson can see past my defenses. How can my bro- erm, _Grayson_ read people so well? Luckily for me, it seems that he is the only one that can truly read me.

Hm, we are already over two hundred fifty words in, and I still haven't gotten to the problem in this example. Don't worry; we are getting there.

So we are going to the duck pond, Grayson having brought an extra blanket for us to sit down on if we see fit. We set the blanket down on the grass, and walked to the edge of the shore.

All is fine as we feed to ducks, and Grayson is remembering the agreement that we made for if I am to do these types of things. The agreement is that he is not allowed to take pictures or make any evidence of what I am doing. I think it is a nice balance. He gets to make me try stuff, and nothing can be used against me.

I'm getting off topic.

There is a pathway that wraps around the pond that is always about twenty feet from the shoreline. To get to the pond, we walked from the pathway towards the pond for ten feet before placing the blanket on the ground. After that, we walked the last remaining ten feet to feed the ducks some bread. It is a public park so there are people walking about. Slightly humiliating, but fine. I can deal with that. I am Damian Wayne. I have dealt with worse.

The thing that I can't tolerate is what two people did. They were walking by, and they walked right over our sitting blanket like it wasn't even there. What was wrong with those people?! Are they so incompetent that they can't even figure out that there is a paved walkway only three meters away?!

Damn Grayson and his holding my arm when he noticed that I stopped feeding the ducks to glare at those people. I know that Grayson thought it was necessary to grab me to ensure that I would stay in place. But he needn't. I wouldn't have hurt them… physically. I was just going to demand answers as to how they could be so unaware of there surroundings and still be alive, especially in Gotham.

But seriously, they walked on our stuff! It is just so irritating!

* * *

 **Example #2**

This example happened while I was on patrol with Grayson.

It is important to note that Grayson was Batman for this night. Why is it important that Grayson was Batman? The answer is simple: if he was out as Nightwing, he would be laughing at the stupidity of the situation, but because he was out as Batman, he had to keep his frown and gravelly voice. I don't know what is more humorous, the situation itself, or Grayson trying to act pissed off while he is laughing inside.

When we land on the building that we parked the Batmobile next to, we see that there are people on the street below us. For obvious reasons, the car is designed so that it is nearly invisible at night-time. This causes the civilians to be unable to see it. Because they couldn't see it, one of the people walked into the Batmobile and fell to the ground.

Grayson had already jumped off of the building when this was happening, so he will have have to react to it in some way, and in a way that is outside of his normal character and befits more of Father. When the guy got up, Batman was standing there in front of him. I knew what was to follow was going to be entertaining.

Grayson started growling to the man, "You think that you can walk into my car and get away with it? Are you looking for trouble? Do you want to get in a fight with me? Is that what you want? If you want a fight, I can give you a fight."

The man stuttered in reply, "No, sir, I don't want a fight. It was an accident; I swear!"

"Then consider this your warning." Grayson brushed past the guy and I took that as my cue to get in the car.

The whole exchange brought a smile to my face. Grayson noticed my happy mood, and asked, "What's got you so happy?"

"You and your performance."

"Oh, you liked that didn't you?"

I merely nod in reply. But still. I can just _see_ where the incompetent man touched _our_ car.

* * *

 **Example #3**

This example is going to have to be added to the growing list of examples that takes place at school.

Imagine those classrooms that have the individual desks. I think that we must have all seen a room like this, be it in real life or on the television. Besides, it can't be that hard to look it up on the Internet.

So I am at this desk drawing as I wait for the class to start, when one of those students walks into the corner of my desk. That person disturbed me and my drawing and didn't even offer an apology. The disrespect that it requires to bump into someone's desk, ruin their drawing, and just cast glance at that person is tremendous. That is a line in the sand that even I wouldn't cross. If I was on the other side of the situation and accidentally disturbed a random innocent stranger, I would have done more than just cast a glance to acknowledge that a thing happened. Why can't people just meet my expectations and standards?

* * *

 **Bonus Scene (From Example #2)**

 _Third Person_

Jim is standing on the roof of police HQ, waiting for Batman to appear.

"Hello, Commissioner."

"Ah, hello Batman, or rather Nightwing, I suppose. I heard what happened with your car. Quite the performance that you put on there. Don't you think it was a little much?"

Batman replies with a slight smile revealing his Nightwing side: "I had to make sure that I stayed in character."

"Say, what are you doing in that costume again. Is the other guy ok?"

"Yeah, he is."

"Then, if you don't mind me asking, why are you covering for him?" Gordon raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"You didn't hear it from me." Batman jabs a finger in emphasize. Jim nods in agreement. "I managed to convince him to go golfing with me. On the eighth hole, he sprained his arm swinging the golf club."

Jim cracks a wry smile and shakes his head saying, "Don't worry. I won't let the criminal underworld find out that Batman got injured playing golf of all things. I know that the fear factor would drop significantly if _that_ news ever got out."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone! I have some sad news. I have only one more chapter of this planned out. But after that, production for this story is going to slow down. The reason: I have a new story, and I was starting to get overwhelmed trying to write three active stories. I hope to have the first chapter of the new story up by the end of this month, but I make no promises. Now, if you want this story to have new chapters sooner, you are going to send me your pet peeves. Because believe it or not, I don't sit around and brood all day. This story will come back (chapter five is already in early devopment), but I want to finish my other stories first.**

 **Thanks to WhenUniversesCollide for beta reading this.**

 **I don't own DC.**

* * *

 **Damian P.O.V**

Do you know what is _really_ annoying? When people use exact change to pay for things. I can't stand it when I have to wait for someone to use exact change. I remind myself of a quote that I once heard. It is: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

I'm fine with people using coins. It would be unreasonable for me to ask people to stop using them. My issue is when the person in front of me has a total that comes to $19.98, and pays for it using anything but a twenty dollar bill. Why do people use pennies in this case? It doesn't even make sense.

* * *

 **Example 1**

Grayson and I were at a convenience store. Don't ask why we were at a convenience store; it's a long story that I don't want to talk about. Let's all try to imagine this type of store, shall we? It has isles in the back, and a register near the door with carts.

We are waiting in the checkout line, as it is busy today, and there is an old lady a few people in front of us. You know the type of person that I am talking about: white hair, overly extroverted, and has nothing better to do than waste everyone else's time. These people are so frustrating!

The old lady got up to the register when it was her turn. "Your amount due is $4.57." the cashier said with fake happiness.

The old lady first put down four one-dollar notes. That is acceptable. What is not acceptable is what she did next.

"Oh, I know that I have some coins in this here purse. Just let me have a look, sweety."

Why? Why are some people like this? It's like their whole purpose is to waste everyone else's time.

Everyone had to wait for her as she said things like: "No, that is a picture of my grandson Steven. Would you like to see?" "I was looking for that pen!" "Oooh! I found a mint! I will definitely eat that later..." and "Why do I even have this? Do you have a garbage I could this in?"

It was not a good day for me.

* * *

 **Example 2**

Vending machines.

Those two words can elicit such strong emotions from many a person. For instance, the people whose jobs are being replaced surely can't be big fans of those machines, but that is not what I am hear to talk about. Because I obviously don't work in the food industry, my main problem is the people that use coins to pay for the drink or food that they are purchasing. It is even worse when they are unprepared to pay for the item with their coins. Did they expect that the item was free? Did they not think that they should have prepared for the transaction before they got to the machine?

Enough talking in the abstract. I will set the scene. We were at Gotham Park for the picnic that Grayson made us go to that I mentioned in the last entry. Grayson and I were feeding the ducks (we already went over the terms that I had him agree to in the last entry) when we got thirsty. In my defense, it was very hot and humid outside. Grayson suggested we find a vending machine, a feat that was simple, as there were several.

Why didn't we just go back to the basket? Well, Grayson mustn't have wanted to risk any confrontation between Drake and I. For the record, any confrontation would be Drake's fault. Another reason would be that we didn't really bring many drinks. I can see this being one of those things that Grayson showed me called "memes". "How many Batmen does it take to bring the proper amount of supplies for a picnic?" But I digress.

When we got to the machine, there was this guy that was already going through the transaction process for purchasing a bottled water. See? We weren't the only ones that got thirsty that day. It is perfectly normal.

The best currency for transactions with a vending machine is quarters, but this man was using the likes of dimes. Dimes! Dimes, I tell you! We had to wait for him to search all of his pockets to find the last twenty cents that he needed

He eventually was able to buy the drink, but this was time that Grayson and I could have spent on ducks.

* * *

 **Example 3**

This one doesn't have to do with money, per-say, but it involves a teller so it is close enough. This was during the time that I lived in the penthouse with Grayson. I bet that the majority of you can imagine the interior of a post office. In case you can't, I will quickly explain how the line system works. The post office that I went to employs a single queue line system. This means that even though there are multiple tellers, there is only one line. It is pretty straight forward for the most part. Everyone gets in one line and waits for the next available window.

This works smoothly, except for the old ladies like the one that I described in the first example. Why does everyone want to tell a stranger about their day? I mean come on; this is Gotham that we live in. You shouldn't tell a stranger what you do over the course of your day in Gotham unless you have a death wish. In retrospect, one must wonder how they are _not_ dead. It is, as I said, Gotham

Someone should inform those old ladies of this fact, because I don't think that they are aware of it... At least, that is the only conclusion that I could come to after hearing what they said.

"After this, I am going to my granddaughter's soccer game." "And that is when I found out that I accidentally put blueberries into my pancakes instead of chocolate chips." "Don't, you just love the way that I painted my nails?" "I am getting my hair cut later today. How do you think that I should get it styled?"

These people are literally dragging everyone down with them. I wonder if there is a way to chart how much money is wasted in lost productivity because of old people talking about their day. Stats aside, do you think that the tellers enjoy listening to the old people?

* * *

 **I can't believe that I have to say this, but appearently it is necessary. Yes, I have connections with WhenUniversesCollide, but that doesn't mean that you should use me to contact that person. This happened happened once a few days ago but never again. I won't be used to pass along messages. I won't be used to get at the people that I have connections with. People, show some dignity. If you want to talk to someone, PM them yourselves; don't use me as a carrier pigeon. It is just rude.**

 **Sorry for the rant, but this is my policy going forward.**


End file.
